Does Marriage Counseling Actually Work??

Does Marriage Counseling Actually Work??
The short answer is yes, yes absolutely marriage counseling can work. Notice I said can. It doesn't always work, and there are a few things you may want to consider before jumping in head first.

First of all, for marriage counseling to be effective, both partners need to be on board. If only one is invested in it, it will most likely be one sided, and will lead to resentment, which can further damage the relationship rather than healing it.

That's not to say counseling can't help your marriage though, even if your partner isn't interested in going. 
Read more...

Do Scary Things!

Do Scary Things!
Now, I'm not talking about rollercoasters and haunted houses, though I am always up for those kind of thrills! But what I'm talking about goes much deeper. I'm talking about stepping outside of your comfort zone and doing the things you feel called to do, but also feel really really scary.

For me, that's being vulnerable. It's showing up in a place that opens me up to judgement. It's showing my human-ness, showing my pain. Because for me, feeling pain meant being weak. Obviously that's not actually true. It's just part of the human experience. But I had held that believe for as long as I can remember.
Read more...

The truth about hiding your pain...

The truth about hiding your pain...
For as long as I can remember, I have been very guarded with my feelings. I don't like sharing, even with close friends and family, even with my husband, because it makes me feel vulnerable and unprotected. It opens me up, to judgement, to hurt, to abandonment. Likely, this stems back to when my mom was sick with cancer, before she passed away. I can remember going to visit my mom when she was in the hospital, in a coma, and I couldn't even form the words to tell her I loved her. I didn't want the others in the room, even my dad and sister, knowing how much I was hurting. It never occurred to me that they were feeling the same way. I only felt how visible I was to them, how on display my pain and feelings were. My dad didn't really open up with us about how he was feeling when she was sick, and actually neither did she. They both put on a brave face and tried to go about life as if all was well, and would be well forever. It wasn't until the night before my mom died that my dad had a heart to heart and finally broke down and cried. That was the first moment I realized she might not come home. She passed the next morning before I woke up.
Read more...

Finding hope...

Finding hope...

Finding hope during a pandemic? Is that even possible? When we are separated from friends and family, encouraged to stay home as much as possible, cut out most of our sources of entertainment, it can feel a bit hopeless. It can feel like this is never going to end. And when we see others thriving, learning to bake bread, build furniture, remodel their houses, homeschool like a pro, it can make us feel obligated to do all the things, and do them all at the same time, which very quickly becomes overwhelming and can lead to anxiety, and feelings of “not enough”, and more hopelessness.

But I think finding hope during the pandemic is absolutely possible, if we know where to look and what to spend our time on. And the best part is that this can easily be translated into any situation where you are feeling hopeless and overwhelmed. You just have to know where to look.

Read more...

Hold on...for brighter days to come

Hold on...for brighter days to come

When I was 14, my mom passed away from brain cancer. My dad did the best he could to help my sister and I deal with our mom’s death. He gave us the option of backing out of camp that year (she passed away 2 weeks before camp began, we chose to go anyways). He sent us to see a therapist (we asked him to discontinue therapy, he did). He took care of us, amidst his grief of losing the woman he had loved since he was 12 years old, put food on the table, involved us in school activities, drove us to school every morning, attended our soccer games, school plays, spent time with our mom’s family, etc.

Read more...
 
Read Older Updates